What the hell is a Whisky Mohawk?

Ipso facto, my friends. That would be me. It’s my nom de guerre, my bitchin’ alias, my own personal a.k.a. It’s my codename, like “White Lightning” or “Screaming Eagle” or “Deathstroke the Terminator”, except way less edgy and packed tight with a solid 80% more fleeting fancy. 

And if you’re here, that means you’re looking to get a solid Whisky-Mohawking. Yep, that’s right. I’m a compound verb, too. Don’t think about it too much – that’s my job.

No, seriously. I do this shit for a living. See, I’m what we in the ‘biz call a renaissance man. Ignoring that we’re well past the renaissance and my manliness is questionable, I’m a self-published and freelance writer and content creator. I have almost a decade of experience under my belt as a storyteller and narrative developer, with niche experience in continuity management, screenwriting, and entertaining marketing. I dabble in voice acting and web design for cash on the side (like this website here!), and I’m an all-around top notch smartass. I’ve worked in theatre and event coordination, as well as film production for indie cinema festivals. And boyo, if you’ve got a problem with that, does my $80,000 piece-of-paper arts degree and the loansharks that came with it as a bonus feature have words for you.

This website is my portfolio and your escapist retreat – a beautifully quaffed, hand-crafted collage of epic tales, teeming anthologies, ambitious screenplays, and that charming devil-may-care black sense of humor that gets me decked square in the face when I go out on Friday nights. In other words, this here is the Island of Misfit Toys… and it’s all yours. Holla ‘atcha, boyo, because the floodgates are open.

Or, as my close personal friend Sheryl Crow once declared in the massive commercially successful film The Iron Giant: are you not entertained?

Ooh. I'm pretty!

^

Presented By This Cheeky Tosser

Whisky Mohawk

Doer of Stuff

Hey, kids! Don't forget - I'm for hire!

Commission your own Whisky Mohwk original. Bring me on to help with your project. Get help building the website. Hell, cut me in on your next daring experimental technologies heist - you'll find I'm something of a ragtag misfit myself.
We're Just Getting Started

Writing

You may have put two and two together by now, clever girl that you are, but I fancy myself to have something of a quick wit when it comes to words. Don't fret; it's one of my only superpowers. I still don't know what comes after "ten".

From short stories to novellas, screenplays, and all other sorts of wacky content, I've been weaponizing the English languages against the dark forces of banality for near as long as I can remember. Even went to school for it!

And if you wanna get in on the action now, you're in luck! This is your one-stop bazaar for weekly updates of both original and fan content courtesy of yours truly. From pirates to the apocalypse, I'm sure I've got your number buried somewhere in the ol' catalog. 

It's not just fiction...

Soar through the seven skies of Lancastria and fight your way down the post-apocalyptic streets of Los Angeles, where dead men tell no tales and hope burns bright.
Start Reading Today

Streaming

Ah, it's not all pen and paper, though. You think this beautiful mug was crafted by the gods just to be exiled to the dark and lonely corner of some never-opened "About the Author" page in the penny dreadful bin at Barnes and Noble?

No, this beautiful mug was made to shove in front of a camera and subsequently be lost in the void of cyberspace! Let's Plays, vocal performances, mad fan theory videos, and even the occasional comedy sketch are all available for your viewing pleasure - now in amazing stereoscopic technicolor! Wow.

So go ham on that Subscribe button, ring-a-ding-ding the notification bell, and check your volume before mashing that sideways triangle we all collectively decided is modern hieroglyphic for "Play" - it's showtime.

...it's 80-proof entertainment...

With let's plays, walk-throughs, live-readings, short films and fandom videos being uploaded all of the time, there's never a shortage of debauchery and hijinks. The only thing still missing is you.
Stream Now

Live!

For the past eight years, this absolute mad lad - this vexatious male-bodied vixen - this unrivaled champion of modern entertainment - has stormed stages all across places where there are stages.

With a background in vaudeville and improvisational comedy, I've toured with comedy troupes, frollicked with freaks, and even once been hanged by the neck until dead.

Your boy Whisky's played at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in Scotland, is the two-time Audience Favorite and Judge's Pick at the Steampunk World's Faire Celebrity Munchhausen, and even once played The Cowardly Lion in his fifth grade production of The Wizard of Oz. I'm basically the next Brad Pitt, if Brad Pitt was a washed up hack with a drinking problem.

...and it's coming to your doorstep.

We're still brushing the dust off of our luggage and creating new content since our revamp in 2019, but keep your eyes peeled for Whisky Mohawk live and at a convention or abandoned chemical factory in your town soon!
Tour Dates

"Yeah, this is pulp."

The Hawk Behind the Whisky

Alright. Let’s turn off the glib sarcasm and flashy marketing for a second. You want to know who the hell I am and what’s going on here?

My name is James. Sup. Nice to meet you. I’ve been writing stories and building worlds for basically as long as I’ve had action figures to bang together and paper to scribble on, but I first started putting original

content online at around the age of thirteen. By sixteen, I’d decided that perhaps this was the best way to spend the rest of my life, largely because I hate myself but also in part due to a shortage of any other marketable skills. Not long after, I fell in with a vaudeville troupe touring the US, and my life really picked up. For the next six years – my “professional youth”, as it were – I was thrown into the fire, learning and honing my craft on the fly between convention appearances, publishing deadlines, and ad hoc writers’ rooms in the backs of roadside diners. Our shows were interconnected, following the continuing adventures of the same cast of characters, and as such a lot of the work I did was in narrative direction and continuity management.

Somewhere during that time I was accepted to Columbia College Chicago, where I took up classes dual-majoring in Screenwriting and Entertainment Marketing. Through it I kept writing and kept touring, bringing my stories to life. We were picked up by a publishing house based out of Queens, and fresh out of college I found myself writing and performing full time. These days I fly solo, and I’m very proud to say all of my work is self-published, personally curated, and conveniently uploaded to the Internet – just for you – free of charge. And they say chivalry is dead.

My work is largely anthology based – like a season of television or collection of short stories – and I like to think that makes it fairly accessible to anyone looking to jump right in (though I’ve dabbled in everything from film production to black magic). In his essay “The Philosophy of Composition”, Poe himself suggested literature ought be consumed in a single sitting, so as to digest a given work as the whole “for, if two sittings be required, the affairs of the world interfere, and everything like totality is at once destroyed,” I guess that kinda always stuck with me. At its basest, I build zany worlds, populate them with zany characters, and throw them all into zany adventures. I write stories about pirates and vampire slayers. I ask stupid questions like, “What if Leonardo da Vinci broke time and the British Empire became Steampunk Nazis?” Shit does get serious sometimes – okay, a lot of times – but my main job is creating a place you can run away to and forget about your own demons, even if it’s just for a little while. 

Yeah, this is pulp. But I like to think it can be so much more than that. This is about turning the page and getting that nostalgic, childhood feeling of chumming it with an old friend you used to have when you tuned into those Saturday morning cartoons. This is about leaving behind your finals next week or your meeting with Karen from HR in the morning, or the fact that that Tinder date you went on this afternoon was a disaster. Because we all need escapism. We all need somewhere safe, where dreams are real and no fiscal reports are due and no one can break our hearts. And if you want to go for that ride, let me tug at your heartstrings for a little bit, and maybe read a cool thing I wrote about a chick who fights goblins with machine guns (does she have the machine guns? Do the goblins??), let me be the first to say, you have good taste, and yeah, it is metal as fuck.

My name is James – and it’s really nice to finally meet you.

You got it, now?

Kick back and relax. Pour yourself a glass of something nice and get some freaking popcorn; the kind that has so much butter on it every delicious bite is a shovelful of dirt deeper into your grave. Let’s have some fun, because making you laugh and cry and cheer for the bad guys but root for the heroes – well, that’s my job. Literally.

Welcome home, you beautiful bastard.

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Share on twitter
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Share on pinterest

What the hell is a Whisky Mohawk?

Ipso facto, my friends. That would be me. It’s my nom de guerre, my bitchin’ alias, my own personal a.k.a. It’s my codename, like “White Lightning” or “Screaming Eagle” or “Deathstroke the Terminator”, except way less edgy and packed tight with a solid 80% more fleeting fancy. 

And if you’re here, that means you’re looking to get a solid Whisky-Mohawking. Yep, that’s right. I’m a compound verb, too. Don’t think about it too much – that’s my job.

No, seriously. I do this shit for a living. See, I’m what we in the ‘biz call a renaissance man. Ignoring that we’re well past the renaissance and my manliness is questionable, I’m a self-published and freelance writer and content creator. I have almost a decade of experience under my belt as a storyteller and narrative developer, with niche experience in continuity management, screenwriting, and entertaining marketing. I dabble in voice acting and web design for cash on the side (like this website here!), and I’m an all-around top notch smartass. I’ve worked in theatre and event coordination, as well as film production for indie cinema festivals. And boyo, if you’ve got a problem with that, does my $80,000 piece-of-paper arts degree and the loansharks that came with it as a bonus feature have words for you.

This website is my portfolio and your escapist retreat – a beautifully quaffed, hand-crafted collage of epic tales, teeming anthologies, ambitious screenplays, and that charming devil-may-care black sense of humor that gets me decked square in the face when I go out on Friday nights. In other words, this here is the Island of Misfit Toys… and it’s all yours. Holla ‘atcha, boyo, because the floodgates are open.

Or, as my close personal friend Sheryl Crow once declared in the massive commercially successful film The Iron Giant: are you not entertained?

Ooh. I'm pretty!

^

Presented By This Cheeky Tosser

Whisky Mohawk

Doer of Stuff

Hey, kids! Don't forget - I'm for hire!

Commission your own Whisky Mohwk original. Bring me on to help with your project. Get help building the website. Hell, cut me in on your next daring experimental technologies heist - you'll find I'm something of a ragtag misfit myself.
We're Just Getting Started

Writing

You may have put two and two together by now, clever girl that you are, but I fancy myself to have something of a quick wit when it comes to words. Don't fret; it's one of my only superpowers. I still don't know what comes after "ten".

From short stories to novellas, screenplays, and all other sorts of wacky content, I've been weaponizing the English languages against the dark forces of banality for near as long as I can remember. Even went to school for it!

And if you wanna get in on the action now, you're in luck! This is your one-stop bazaar for weekly updates of both original and fan content courtesy of yours truly. From pirates to the apocalypse, I'm sure I've got your number buried somewhere in the ol' catalog. 

It's not just fiction...

Soar through the seven skies of Lancastria and fight your way down the post-apocalyptic streets of Los Angeles, where dead men tell no tales and hope burns bright.
Start Reading Today

Streaming

Ah, it's not all pen and paper, though. You think this beautiful mug was crafted by the gods just to be exiled to the dark and lonely corner of some never-opened "About the Author" page in the penny dreadful bin at Barnes and Noble?

No, this beautiful mug was made to shove in front of a camera and subsequently be lost in the void of cyberspace! Let's Plays, vocal performances, mad fan theory videos, and even the occasional comedy sketch are all available for your viewing pleasure - now in amazing stereoscopic technicolor! Wow.

So go ham on that Subscribe button, ring-a-ding-ding the notification bell, and check your volume before mashing that sideways triangle we all collectively decided is modern hieroglyphic for "Play" - it's showtime.

...it's 80-proof entertainment...

With let's plays, walk-throughs, live-readings, short films and fandom videos being uploaded all of the time, there's never a shortage of debauchery and hijinks. The only thing still missing is you.
Stream Now

Live!

For the past eight years, this absolute mad lad - this vexatious male-bodied vixen - this unrivaled champion of modern entertainment - has stormed stages all across places where there are stages.

With a background in vaudeville and improvisational comedy, I've toured with comedy troupes, frollicked with freaks, and even once been hanged by the neck until dead.

Your boy Whisky's played at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in Scotland, is the two-time Audience Favorite and Judge's Pick at the Steampunk World's Faire Celebrity Munchhausen, and even once played The Cowardly Lion in his fifth grade production of The Wizard of Oz. I'm basically the next Brad Pitt, if Brad Pitt was a washed up hack with a drinking problem.

...and it's coming to your doorstep.

We're still brushing the dust off of our luggage and creating new content since our revamp in 2019, but keep your eyes peeled for Whisky Mohawk live and at a convention or abandoned chemical factory in your town soon!
Tour Dates

"Yeah, this is pulp."

The Hawk Behind the Whisky

Alright. Let’s turn off the glib sarcasm and flashy marketing for a second. You want to know who the hell I am and what’s going on here?

My name is James. Sup. Nice to meet you. I’ve been writing stories and building worlds for basically as long as I’ve had action figures to bang together and paper to scribble on, but I first started putting original

content online at around the age of thirteen. By sixteen, I’d decided that perhaps this was the best way to spend the rest of my life, largely because I hate myself but also in part due to a shortage of any other marketable skills. Not long after, I fell in with a vaudeville troupe touring the US, and my life really picked up. For the next six years – my “professional youth”, as it were – I was thrown into the fire, learning and honing my craft on the fly between convention appearances, publishing deadlines, and ad hoc writers’ rooms in the backs of roadside diners. Our shows were interconnected, following the continuing adventures of the same cast of characters, and as such a lot of the work I did was in narrative direction and continuity management.

Somewhere during that time I was accepted to Columbia College Chicago, where I took up classes dual-majoring in Screenwriting and Entertainment Marketing. Through it I kept writing and kept touring, bringing my stories to life. We were picked up by a publishing house based out of Queens, and fresh out of college I found myself writing and performing full time. These days I fly solo, and I’m very proud to say all of my work is self-published, personally curated, and conveniently uploaded to the Internet – just for you – free of charge. And they say chivalry is dead.

My work is largely anthology based – like a season of television or collection of short stories – and I like to think that makes it fairly accessible to anyone looking to jump right in (though I’ve dabbled in everything from film production to black magic). In his essay “The Philosophy of Composition”, Poe himself suggested literature ought be consumed in a single sitting, so as to digest a given work as the whole “for, if two sittings be required, the affairs of the world interfere, and everything like totality is at once destroyed,” I guess that kinda always stuck with me. At its basest, I build zany worlds, populate them with zany characters, and throw them all into zany adventures. I write stories about pirates and vampire slayers. I ask stupid questions like, “What if Leonardo da Vinci broke time and the British Empire became Steampunk Nazis?” Shit does get serious sometimes – okay, a lot of times – but my main job is creating a place you can run away to and forget about your own demons, even if it’s just for a little while. 

Yeah, this is pulp. But I like to think it can be so much more than that. This is about turning the page and getting that nostalgic, childhood feeling of chumming it with an old friend you used to have when you tuned into those Saturday morning cartoons. This is about leaving behind your finals next week or your meeting with Karen from HR in the morning, or the fact that that Tinder date you went on this afternoon was a disaster. Because we all need escapism. We all need somewhere safe, where dreams are real and no fiscal reports are due and no one can break our hearts. And if you want to go for that ride, let me tug at your heartstrings for a little bit, and maybe read a cool thing I wrote about a chick who fights goblins with machine guns (does she have the machine guns? Do the goblins??), let me be the first to say, you have good taste, and yeah, it is metal as fuck.

My name is James – and it’s really nice to finally meet you.

You got it, now?

Kick back and relax. Pour yourself a glass of something nice and get some freaking popcorn; the kind that has so much butter on it every delicious bite is a shovelful of dirt deeper into your grave. Let’s have some fun, because making you laugh and cry and cheer for the bad guys but root for the heroes – well, that’s my job. Literally.

Welcome home, you beautiful bastard.

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